To Vomit or Not to Vomit: Uber Cleaning Fees

At 3AM, the Northwestern graduate student said, “I feel sick, do you mind if we stop the car?”

“No, not at all.”  I braked for the first available driveway.  She stumbled out and within seconds, lost her dinner on the sidewalk in front of a commercial business.

She sat on the concrete a few minutes before returning to my Honda.  “Sorry about that.”

***

Riders and potential drivers ask me, “Do people really throw up on Uber rides?

Yes, absolutely.  If you drive nights for Uber or Lyft, riders will get sick in your car.  It is a matter of time.   Uber recently congratulated me on my 2,000th Late Night ride and that night I experienced my third rider in-the-car barf moment to go with two near misses including the Northwestern student mentioned above.

Whether you’re a drunk passenger or thinking of driving for Uber, you should understand Uber’s cleaning policy.  When a rider throws up in an Uber, the driver is to photograph the wreckage (lovely pics you’ll want to save on your phone, to be sure).  Then, the driver uploads the evidence to Uber after clicking “A rider made a mess in my vehicle” in the app.

Important point: Uber charges the fee to whoever booked the ride.  If you are sober, but your friend is drunk, keep in mind you are the one who gets charged if your friend gets sick in the Uber.

The lucky Uber employees who review vomit pics for a living then make a decision as to the charge, which currently ranges from $40 to $150 per incident.  My first time was a 3AM pick up in Chicago’s Chinatown outside a karaoke bar.  I picked up four riders, one of whom had to held up by the others.  A very bad sign.  Although their destination was only eight minutes away, I’d barely pulled away before the guy in front vomited all over the front passenger side of the windshield and dashboard.  One of the guys in back added a little to the backseat moments later.  The only sober rider, a woman, apologized profusely and, when I dropped them at the hotel, Chicago’s Essex House, minutes later, she came out with a roll of towels.  Nice thought, but not much for my year-old car.  The maître de of the hotel kindly brought towels and cleaning supplies to me.  A very kind gesture.

Still, you can’t clean vomit with a towel and wipes.  You most likely need it detailed by a professional.  If you do not, you will never get all the acids and residue out of your car’s upholstery.  It will smell for months.  Don’t be cheap.  Get it detailed.

I photographed the mess, uploaded it to Uber, and a few hours later, had $150 in my account.  Taxable by Uncle Sam, but Uber at least, doesn’t charge a commission on vomit cleanup revenue.  The rider paid.  Yes, if you’re a rider, keep in mind that vomiting in an Uber will probably mean $150 charged against your credit card.

Some riders complain, but they shouldn’t.  Detailing the car will run the driver about $150.  The driver is much worse off, though, because he or she is done driving for the night and the rest of the weekend.  If you vomit at midnight Friday, you might cost your driver hundreds of dollars in lost fares before he or she can get it detailed on Monday.  Drivers take time off from day jobs to get cars detailed, too.  To say nothing of the horrific stench and absolutely disgusting nature of vomit.  Detailing may not get everything out so you may leave a permanent stain in your driver’s car, too.  Be glad you got off at $150.

On another night, I got a drunk man from a River North club.  We added another random guy for the UberPool. A few miles later, the sober Pool guy said, “Dude!  Ugh!  Gross!  Driver, this guy just threw up all over your car!”  That is something to think about when you opt for UberPool late night: the other rider might vomit while you sit next to him, perhaps on you.  I got $150 for my troubles.

Last Friday night, a woman and two men climbed into my car in the increasingly hip and trendy Pilsen neighborhood.  One man was queasy and both were drunk.  The woman steered one to the open window, which he promptly vomited out.  She was nice and took care to keep the man from vomiting inside the car.  I took a picture of the vomit that landed on the outside of my car.  I recommended the minimum $40 cleaning fee to Uber, which they charged her (the ride was on her account).  I got an exterior car wash the next morning.

If you’re a driver, late night Uber means the occasional vomit episode in your car.  You can’t really look at a passenger and determine who will barf and who won’t.  Also keep in mind your ratings may suffer.  My rating dropped from 4.89 to 4.88 after the last vomit incident.  I don’t know who gave me a lower rating, but any rider may be unhappy with a cleaning fee and they may give the driver the worst possible rating.  I think they do.

One San Diego Uber driver specializes in cleaning vomit, keeping specialty cleaning supplies in his trunk so he can get back on the road minutes after a rider throws up. He pockets the cleaning fees, earning as much as a thousand bucks a week by targeting late night drunks likely to puke.

If your drive, think twice about late nights.  Drunks can be tough on your car; they slam doors, act rude, and vomit.  I often use the 2AM to 4AM danger zone to gas the car, take a bathroom break, or even sneak a nap.   Late night makes the most sense if you can achieve premium pricing, be it surge or boost pricing.  At standard rates, you’re better off driving during the day when the risk of vomit is much smaller.  Unless you want stories to blog about!